Texas Lou

Today is rough.  Yesterday was rough.  I’ve been discovering that there is so much I don’t know and so much I need to learn to even come close to feeling comfortable at my new job.  Javascript, SQL, Jquery, CSS…the list goes on and on.  Of course I know tiny bits and pieces of these languages and concepts and can infer alot because of my programming background but I still feel like I’m drowning in a sea of inexperience and anxiety.

I want to quit because quitting is easy.  I want to find an easy job.  But another part of me refuses to take the easy route or be a quitter or work for a lower salary when I’ve become accustomed to the amount of money I make now.  I am trying to teach myself and learn from coworkers and Ben, but why does everyone else seem to get it easier and faster than me?  I’m tired of being the person that is constantly asking questions and needing someone to hold my hand through every little process.

I told Ben I’d give it 3 more months here and evaluate how much I’ve grown and learned.  I’m afraid I’m in the wrong job or the wrong field but I don’t know if that fear is based in reality or based in the exhaustion of anxiety about not being able to do my job or do it well.  I know I’ll feel so much stronger and confident if I can hold on and work through being inexperienced but in the meantime, every minute I spend at work is filled with terror, frustration, and anxiety.  I’m just waiting for things to get easier.

No, none for me…not just yet.  Gotta find that “perfect” house to nest in first!

Yesterday was an exciting day filled with babies!

First, we visited our friends Cria, Megan, and their daughter Erin who just welcomed baby Connor a couple weeks ago!  We brought them dinner and gifts for Erin and Connor!  We had a nice visit and Erin showed us all of her favorite kids’ games and apps on the iPad.  Plus I got to hold newborn baby Connor!

Then, last night, we got an email from Ben’s mom that Ben’s sister, Casey, had her baby girl, JJ!  That makes niece number 4 for Ben (and me too now that we’re married)!

It’s so exciting to see friends and family welcoming precious new lives into this world!  I’m so excited to see all of the little ones grow!

Lately we’ve had a bit of bad luck on the homefront.

Ben’s fish has been really sick for a couple of weeks now.  Despite lots of medicine and trips to the pet store, he’s only gotten worse and we’re worried he’s dying.

Then on Sunday, we realized our kitchen sink had been leaking for quite some time and had flooded the particle board cabinet underneath.  Now we’ve got to deal with the possibility of mold and tracking down the leak.

In addition, on Sunday, our TV turned itself off and made a strange noise when we turned it back on.  We’re keeping our fingers crossed that this was an isolated incident.

Then last night, my laptop blue screened.  I’m getting nervous that the motherboard or hard drive might be going bad.  I’ve had the computer for 4 years now and it’s no longer under warranty.  Although it would be nice to have a new one, I definitely can’t afford it right now.

Ben’s car has also been giving us a hard time.  He had it in the shop 3 different times in the past couple of weeks.  First they thought he needed a new battery, then they realized they actually needed to replace the alternator.  Then the alternator they replaced it with went bad.  We are hoping that nothing else bad happens in the car department.

All of these are kind of trivial (except for Ben’s fish dying of course), but added together, there could be alot of money and effort needed to get everything back in working condition.  I’m starting to wonder if we are just going through a bout of bad luck or if we might have gremlins in the house.  Either way, I need to find some lucky rabbits feet and four leaf clovers fast!

The title of this post is one of my favorite quotes about love and relationships.  I think I really like it because it describes the teamwork, partnership, and cooperation that I believe is necessary for a healthy and lasting relationship.

Speaking of love and games, I wanted to show the cornhole set that I had custom made for my wedding.  The theme of the wedding was Texas and Virginia (mine and Ben’s home states respectively in case it wasn’t already obvious).  We had lots of little aspects of the wedding that went along with this theme like the Texas shaped bride’s cake (yes, you read that right, we had a bride’s cake instead of a groom’s cake) and the Virginia wine and beer served at the reception.  I think this game brought the whole theme together quite nicely, not to mention it was great fun to have at the wedding and Ben and I can enjoy them for years to come.

Board 1: Texas

Board 2: Virginia

The boards were hand made by the extremely talented Derik of Cornchucker LLC .  He did a beautiful job and let me customize the wording, colors, and logos on the boards.  I know Ben and I are going to have these set up in our backyard when we finally buy a house and they will always remind us of our wonderful wedding weekend!

I realized the other day that I just passed the 7 year anniversary of moving to Virginia.  I believe I moved into my first Virginian residence on August 9th, 2005.

I remember how weak and sad I felt when I got here.  I literally kicked and screamed part of the way here and could think of nothing else more than to get back to Texas ASAP!  I never dreamed that I would still be here 7 years later.  Even though I still wish I lived in Texas and I miss my friends and family terribly, I wouldn’t change the past.  Had I not left Texas and moved to Virginia, I don’t think I would be as strong and independent as I am today.  Had I stayed in my comfort zone close to mommy and daddy, I may have never really gotten that push out of the metaphorical nest that I needed to truly become an adult.  Living close to my parents was always a crutch that I could take advantage of.  What if I had a flat tire? What if I got in a car accident?  What if I can’t figure out how to cook something?  Mom and dad were always right there to fix things for me.  Of course now they are only a phone call away, but being 2000 miles away from them made me realize that I needed to be able to rely on myself like an adult.

Another reason I would never change the decision I made 7 years ago to follow my college boyfriend to Virginia is that I would have never met so many amazing new friends and family.  I would have never fallen in love with and learned so much from Ben.  I probably would have stayed in an unhealthy and manipulative relationship and not morphed from the shy introvert into the outgoing extrovert (most of the time) that I am now.

I would also probably never get the chance to appreciate a more rural environment.  When I first moved to Charlottesville, I certainly had culture shock!  I spent my whole life living in HUGE cities like Houston and San Antonio.  Not having a gas station on every corner was pretty scary to me…it made me feel cut off from the rest of the world.  Now I LOVE living in a less urban environment.  It means that there are less traffic, less pollution, and less crowds to deal with.  And Facebook, cellphones, email, and this blog certainly keep me feeling connecting to the ones I love who are far away.

I’m so glad that I have traveled the path that lays behind me now.  It certainly wasn’t easy and it’s been filled with some sadness, heartbreak, and loneliness.  But it has also been filled with joy, surprise, adventure, learning, love, and amazement.  I know the future will definitely hold the bad and the good but it will also be shaped by the 7 years I’ve spent here and the decisions that led me here as well.  I just have to remember that in order to experience something amazing, I’ve got to take a risk, endure the negative, and keep a positive outlook on things.  Had I not left Texas, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and that would be sad, because I really do love who I am!

Last night, I went downtown to Fridays After Five, a free concert held at the Charlottesville Pavilion every Friday in the summer time, to meet up with the AMAZING Travis family(Robin, Sterling, and Sarah, my sister-in-law) to see Craig Travis (Sarah’s dad) sing with his former band the Houserockers.

After bumping into some friends and enjoying good conversation while sipping on local Star Hill beer, we went to the front of the pavilion to cheer on the Houserockers and dance and sing along.  The Houserockers put on a wonderful performance and Sarah’s dad is truly talented.

I apologize for the blurriness of these pictures, but we were dancing after all!

Robin, Sterling, and Sarah waiting for Craig’s performance. I love this family!

My sister from another mister and I!

Craig singing front and center.

Go Houserockers!

After the show, Sterling, Sarah, and I stopped off at Miyako for some sushi and edamame.  It was a great way to start the weekend and I’m so glad I FINALLY got to see the Houserockers perform after hearing so many great things about them from the Travis family!

A few months ago, I received an email from Living Social about a deal for a Murder/Ghost/History tour in Charlottesville.  I’ve been wanting to take this tour for a long time since I’ve heard alot of good things about it from friends and I’m interested in history and mystery so I decided to take advantage of the deal.

Fast forward to this week and I received an email that my living social deal I had purchased months ago was about to expire so I had to act fast!  Sarah and I made plans to take the tour which is given every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 8 to 10 PM in downtown Charlottesville.  I wasn’t sure what to expect since Cville is such a small town (at least in my eyes).  I was curious about how many people would attend the tour and how much history and ghost stories there could actually be.

A flyer for the ghost tour I took last night

The tour, given by Rob Craighurst of Tell Me About It Tours, was pretty awesome!  Rob walked us through the streets of downtown Charlottesville telling us the story of a former mayor of Charlottesville, Sam McCue, and his wife Fannie who was murdered in 1904.  His elaborate and historically accurate anecdote was sprinkled with rumors of ghosts sightings at certain area residences and businesses as well as interesting facts about the landscape and history of Charlottesville in the early 1900s.  He also pointed out several buildings throughout downtown Charlottesville that I had no idea existed like the original Charlottesville jail where people were hanged as punishment for their crimes.  Rob was a wonderful tour guide who mastered  the use of humor, suspense, and imagery in his story and held our attentions very well!  I would recommend this tour to both tourists and long-time residents of Charlottesville.  I will probably even take the tour again since I found it so interesting.

A map of the house where the wife of former mayor of Charlottesville, Sam McCue, was murdered in 1904. The house still stands and serves as an apartment building which we passed on the tour.

If you’re ever in Charlottesville (or live here) and are looking for 2 hours of entertainment (and exercise as it was a walking tour), I highly recommend this!  The price wasn’t bad either…only $15 per person!

Last night, I joined my sister-in-law/best friend, brother-in-law, and a friend for dinner at their house.  I brought the wine (of course) and Sarah did the cooking.

When I first arrived, Sarah announced that she was making Tilapia for dinner.  Upon hearing that, I thought that I would just eat mostly sides as I’m not a fan of fish at all.  I really don’t like the smell or the texture of it despite how good I know it is for me.  But I said I would try the fish at the very least because Sarah and Ian have raved about how wonderful it is plus I didn’t want to me a rude dinner guest either.

After lots of laughter and good conversation, dinner was finally ready and Sarah, Ian, Collin, and I sat down to tilapia with a creamy dill sauce, baked asparagus, and baked potatoes.  It was a delicious dinner and I actually LOVED the fish.  I even came home telling Ben (who is always wanting me to cook more fish at home) how wonderful it was and that I was going to make it for dinner in the future.

It just goes to show that if you try new things, you might just be surprised and find a new favorite!

A picture of the tilapia from scissorsandspatulas.com

If you’re interested in the recipe, check out Scissorsandspatulas.com.

I was reading an article titled Google Autocomplete Reveals the Fattest, Boringest, and Most Racist States in the Union on slate.com that explains how a researcher used Google Autocomplete to draw conclusions on the biggest assumptions about each state based on the most popular Google searches.  It’s a pretty short read and quite fascinating but what really got me excited about the article was the top most popular Google search about Texas shown in the interactive map of the United States in the article.

Screenshot courtesy of slate.com

“Why is Texas so awesome” was the most popular Google search about Texas at the time the research was done for this article!

Anyone who was born and raised there may not be able to articulate the answer to this question, but they can certainly feel it!

Ok, for those of you who don’t speak computer language operators (***nerd alert***), the title of this post translates to “House Hunting is not equal to House Shopping”.

My number 1 project and obsession that has taken over the wedding planning that not too long ago governed my time and thoughts is searching for a house.  Currently, Ben, our two cats, all of our weddings gifts, and I live in a tiny little one bedroom, one bathroom condo on the fourth floor that Ben bought 4 years ago.  Most of my furniture is temporarily living in a storage unit on the east side of Charlottesville and has been for over 2 years now.  Needless to say, we are passed the point of being out of room and have been for a while so we began our search for that elusive “perfect house” a couple of months before the wedding (I know we’re crazy).

For some reason, I envisioned finding our future house as an easy and fun task.  That most likely is due to the memories I have of house hunting with my parents as an adolescent.  I remember my parents would put us in the car on a Sunday afternoon, we would drive around looking for open houses, and when we found one, my sister, brother, and I would scramble through the open house or model home picking out our new rooms!  What’s not fun about that, right?  Well now that I’m an adult, I realize that finding a house that you will most likely be living in for the next ten years or more (especially with the housing market in its current condition) is alot more complicated than just picking your own room.  It certainly shouldn’t be considered shopping because shopping is supposed to be fun (unless your a teenage girl and 30 pounds overweight, but that’s a story for another day).

Ben and I have been hunting for this perfect house since May.  Every now and then, we think we may have found “the one” and get our hopes up, but then it turns out to be too expensive, too old, has too high of an HOA, has no closet space, has a tiny kitchen, is in a county with poorly rated schools, is too far away from our family, friends, and jobs, or just plain doesn’t look the same as it did in the pictures.  There are so many aspects to consider when buying a house and the decision is made even more stressful by the fact that a huge risk is being taken on our part to sign our lives away for a mortgage.  It also doesn’t help that Ben and I are both very picky and don’t like to make BIG decisions.  We have a really awesome realtor and sometimes I wonder if she goes back to her realtor friends after looking at houses with us and vents about how crazy we are because she’s shown us sooooo many houses and we’ve only found 1 that we were willing to make an offer on, but someone beat us to it.  I wouldn’t blame her if she thought we were the craziest and pickiest househunters in the world!

I keep reminding Ben that we just need to be patient and that somebody our house hunt will end with us finding that perfect place.  I know it will eventually happen, but in the meantime we are packed in like sardines at the condo and both obsessively checking the new real estate listings in the area every day.  I guess if I have to be cooped up in a tiny apartment, there’s no one else I’d rather be with than Ben.